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I have been fighting a fairly serious bout of depression, which has zapped much of my energy and motivation.  The depression was complicated by rather intense flareup of the fibromyalgia.  It’s been a rough couple of weeks.

While I have been highly unmotivated to do much of anything, I have picked back up on binge watching Netflix.  I returned to a series that I had started watching several years ago and quit.  I don’t usually spend a lot of time watching tv, except when my pain levels get bad and the depression really kicks in.  Currently, I’m working through Heartland.

Heartland cover

I like the series.  It makes me wish I lived somewhere close enough to a horse farm that I could visit regularly.   Last Fall, I visited a farm about 2 hours from home that provides therapy by working with horses.  There is a certain stress relief in caring for such a gentle giant.  I would love to be able to ride, but I don’t think my body would tolerate it anymore.

For those that don’t know the series, Heartland is about 2 sisters and their grandfather.  Grandfather runs a cattle ranch in Canada.  The older sister leaves her life in NY to help manage the ranch (financially) after the girls’ mother dies in an accident.  The younger sister has inherited her mother’s gift of being able to work with horses (horse whisperer).

There are 8 seasons currently on Netflix, and I am about half-way through season 7.  I really want to finish the series, but I am getting tired of being glued to the tv so much.  I’m glad that I’m getting tired of watching tv because that means I’m getting back to “normal”.

There are several shows that I have liked.  The story lines aren’t complicated, and they don’t challenge my brain very much.  At times like this, I need something that I can enjoy but not have to put a lot of emotion or effort into understanding.  My other favorite binging shows include: Switched at Birth, Grey’s Anatomy, Once Upon a TimeGhost Whisper, and NCIS.

Being parked in front of the tv for so long hasn’t been very healthy for me.  I haven’t had the strength to do anything beyond the absolutely necessary tasks.  I haven’t had the focus to read, play games, or do anything requiring mental acuity.  Even coloring had lost it’s appeal this cycle.  I had tried reading an old favorite (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone), but I couldn’t even focus on that long enough to read more than a page or two at a time.

I finally finished the Harry Potter book, and instead of going on with the series, I checked some books out of the library.  I have some print books to read with the girls, and some ebooks for me.  Although I haven’t been able to start reading with the girls yet, I have started an ebook.  So far it’s good.  If I continue to do well with it, I would like to be able to write a book review about it.  Fingers crossed that I’m back on an upswing now.

~ Maybe, when I grow up…


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